These comments are for section 37.
Organization of synthesis essay
I pointed out a few classes ago that students tend to be more successful when they employ a point-by-point approach to their synthesis essays. Yet almost no-one chose this approach. Almost every essay was organized subject-by-subject. In some essays, this worked. Yet in many, it made for very long, very jumbled body paragraphs and made the connections between the various texts (subjects) a bit tenuous. And in some essays, it caused writers to fall into summarizing the texts instead of analyzing them. So again, I highly recommend using a point-by-point organization. It keeps the argument more focused.
Our Rules for Writers book has a short section on synthesis on pages 477-479.
Assets and obstacles also create effects
If something is an obstacle then it holds someone back. That is an effect. So in order to prove that something is an obstacle you need to show the thing and also show how it holds someone back, show its negative effect. So if you're writing that language is an obstacle, it's not enough to say "English was required at school." You also have to show that this requirement harmed the person in some way. The same goes for assets. Show how the asset is an asset; show its benefit for the person. So yes, Jack MacFarland is an asset for Mike Rose, but this is only clear if we see the positive influence MacFarland has on Rose.
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