Wednesday, February 16, 2011

EWRT1A-25: essay 2 comments: synthesis

I wanted to post some initial comments I have about what I'm seeing in the essay 2 drafts. I want to post this now, because it may help you for the midterm.

Judging by the drafts, the biggest thing a lot of you have to work on is synthesis. The goal for essay 2 is to find specific connections between the readings you discuss. I want you to argue about specific points of comparison.

The first culprit in some of your essays is the thesis statement. "Everyone has a voice. People find voice in various ways." This is just too vague. What ways? Again, look at the essays you discuss. What way or ways of finding voice do all of them share.

The second problem has to do with the structure of the body paragraphs. A lot of students deal with each piece of evidence–each essay–in a typical five paragraph essay structure. This means that each essay is described (and sometimes merely summarized, not analyzed) in its own paragraph, each containing its own point. Again, this isn't synthesis. If you are making a different point about each essay then you are not showing what the essays say in common. Here the very structure of the essay keeps the readings from being brought together. Don't let your adherence to the five paragraph essay structure limit your own voice.

So look at what all your examples show. You may end up having only a one point thesis, but this is better than having a multiple point thesis that never shows any specific connections between the readings.

Comparison tends to be structured two ways: subject by subject and point by point. In a subject by subject structure, the writer deals with each subject separately. This is similar to what a lot of you are doing when you deal with each essay separately. The drawback here is that the connections between the subjects can get lost, which is the problem a lot of these drafts are having. But the subject by subject pattern is good if you are discussing only one point of comparison. In point by point, the writer organizes the essays around points of comparison and then offers the various subjects as examples. The benefit of doing this is that the points of connection are clear. The drawback to this approach is that if you have only one point of comparison, it makes for a three paragraph essay.

And to further explore rhetorical modes… in prompt 1 you need to find similarities in the process of how one finds a voice. In prompt 2, find similarities in the causes for why people can't find their voice. And in prompt 3, argue similarities about the effects of having a voice.

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